Miracles + Ice Cream + Abercrombie Jeans

Yesterday in yoga class, the instructor guided us to think of what we were grateful for. In the middle of cat and cow pose, I decided to listen to her and I searched my mind for what I was most grateful for in that moment.

My aparment? Yep, but not what I will focus on. My health? Yep but nope. My parents? Of course but not the thing. Hmm...what else? Miracles! Yes, yes. A Course In Miracles. That's what I'm grateful for. It is the bedrock of my spiritual practice and therefore my life. Mmmm I am so grateful for those teachings.

The teacher guides us to fill our bodies up with the joy we experience when we feel into the gratitude for what we've chosen to focus on. I laughed to myself. While I love A Course in Miracles for the tools and freedom and sanity it brings to me each and every day, I am not filled up with joy by it.

So I ask myself once more, what am I most grateful for that brings me joy? Immediately I see an image of a soft-serve vanilla ice cream cone covered with rainbow sprinkles, half-melting and incredibly delicious. And yes, I am filled with joy from the memories this image brings to me. Being treated to ice cream by my dad after my rec softball games, enjoying a cone with the whole family at the Dairy Queen stand the night before I left for overnight camp, and with friends after middle school in late June, feeling so cool that I was wearing my new Abercrombie jean shorts and buying an ice cream cone without my parents present. Epitome of cool, right?

When I let the joy and pleasure of the ice cream cone and its accompanying memories take over, another layer of gratitude came over me. I became so grateful for the ice cream cone and the other food that soothed me during a time in my life when I felt incredibly alone and had no other soothing mechanisms. Ice cream and pretzels and pizza allowed me to feel my body, to feel full, to feel like I was being hugged from the inside out. I remember coming home from school and feeling so uncomfortable in myself that I would grab a bag of pretzel rods and plop on the couch and watch TV. I didn't know how to cope with the feelings I was experiencing. And this is why I thank God for emotional eating. Thank God for ice cream. Thank God for pretzels. Thank God for healing. This is forgiveness, this is gratitude.

There's this quote that I have shared with you by Geneen Roth, that I absolutely love, "We don't want to EAT hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to BE hot fudge sundaes. We want to come home to ourselves."

Yes, yes, yes. We can make our lives be as freakin' awesome as hot fudge sundaes and that's what we really are wanting when we are craving that. But as we do, let's not deny ourselves the pleasure of eating the hot fudge sundaes!!

I share this story with you because it was profound for me. It helped me see again, the miracles that occur when we show up each and every day wanting to see the Truth. And I want to remind you, that this is six years on my spiritual path. I am still a baby but each and every day more is revealed to me. It takes courage but it's profound and I believe as individuals, when we embark to heal our wounds, the planet shifts because the planet's wounds are being healed and we can collectively make massive change. From the inside out.

If there is something in you that is saying that you can no longer be disconnected and at war with your body and you are done hating on yourself every single time you eat (which is more often than you'd like to admit), I have opened time in my calendar for 3 deep dive mentoring sessions. I will be opening up an application process in a few weeks to join my 6-month 1-1 mentorship program (only 5 spaces will be opened) but if you know you are sick of feeling bad every time you get dressed and go to eat, and want a quick yet deep jumpstart, these deep dive mentoring sessions are for you.

Love you like woah,