You may have noticed I've been missing from your inbox as I've been creating Soul Camp, among lots of other things like designing, coaching, dating, traveling, and finally creating and loving my fitness routine. I've missed you!
Devotion to my purpose has been profound for me as it challenges me, forces me to face fears and illusions that I've held onto, and allows me to be in complete service. But I want to share with you that I wasn't always clear on my purpose and it's not always easy.
Do you remember, as children, how parents and teachers used to ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up? I remember either answering shyly that I didn't know yet or I making up that I wanted to be a doctor. I did want to help people in some way, so doctor worked! But I remember becoming concerned in college as more and more of my peers seemed to be clear on what they wanted their lives to look like.
"I want to be go to medical school and research the link between autism and vaccines."
"I want to make progress and change the way African Americans are treated in our country."
"I want to create a career where I have the flexibility to work at home so that when it comes to be the time, I can raise my 3 children in a 5-bedroom house in Chicago with my Jewish husband who works in finance."
I didn't understand why I couldn't articulate mine and I, honestly, was frustrated that I seemed to like a lot of different things. All I knew then was that I liked to draw and design and be in the creative flow, I liked contemplating the purpose of life with my friends, and I had an interest in learning about the human body and how to create optimal health (because I never had it, and wanted it).
If you also have a lot of different passions and interests and get frustrated with the conversation around finding your purpose, watch this for extra inspiration. Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite teachers, gives a beautifully profound talk on the gift of curiosity and multi-passionate humans.
It's interesting, because, even now, I resist pinpointing specific visions of what I want in my future. When friends ask me what my wedding will be like, I tell them I have no clue but I know it's going to be so beautiful and full of love. They egg me on saying, "Come on, it's just fun to dream!". And while I agree, and I love hearing other people's dreams, I've learned that that sort of visioning doesn't work for me.
Visioning from my mind never works. Visioning from the heart, from a whole other place, allows me to enter into a new dimension. A dimension where the Truth exists and all the pressure and societal norms melts away. Anything that isn't real melts away when looked at from the heart.
I always get asked how I became a guide for women and how Michelle (my biz partner and best friend) and I thought of the idea for Soul Camp. Again, I laugh, and share with them that this wasn't my idea. Seven years ago, if anyone asked me what I wanted to do with my life, life coach and creator of an adult sleepaway camp would never have come out of my mouth. My mind could never have conceived of it!
But when I met my teachers and mentors along the way, my heart would give me clues. I started to notice what really lit me up, what I got super excited about and around whom I felt safe and held. I knew I was happiest when I was in spiritual community and I loved being both a student and a teacher. Once I realized this, the clues were given to me when I really resonated with a teaching or a way someone was teaching. I would make a note to myself and hold that vision for myself. And clues were also given to me when I felt wronged and would make note that I was going to do things differently. These clues allow my heart vision to become clearer.
I may not be able to know what wedding dress I am going to be wearing or what food will be served at my wedding, but I can feel into what it will feel like when I look into my man's eyes and declare our love to each other in front of our closest friends. And I trust that it's going to be a thousand times more incredible than I could even imagine.
I trust because, looking back, I've seen it in my life. Those times when I am unclear of the next step, Life guides me exactly where I need to be. And sometimes I resist the hell out of it, which creates the experience of pain and suffering. But the more I trust that Life is good, that I am supported, that I am meant to thrive, the more I am able to surrender and let Life take me where I am meant to be taken.
When I stood around the bonfire, speaking to Soul Campers this past fall, I shared with them that if I could give myself from 5 years ago some advice, I'd tell myself to be easy on myself. Keep tuning in, keep feeling into what feels right, keep taking the next right step right in front of you. You have no clue what is in store for you. Not because you are incapable of dreaming but because what's in store for you can't even be thought of from your present awareness. Each step you take will bring you to a whole new world of possibility. Trust. Have faith that everything you are experiencing now is necessary for you to be able to live the life that you are meant to live and to help the people you are meant to help.
The truth is, we can't know where life is going to take us. Life brings us many surprises! If we have faith that all of these surprises are for our highest good, and all we need to do is surrender to their gifts, we will be able to navigate our lives with unshakable ease, peace, and Love.
Trust. All your dreams are already coming true.
Love to you,